Play On!

Most of us recall from our school days the story of John Alden who volunteered to speak for his older friend Miles Standish. The gal John was speaking to replied, “Speak for yourself, John.”

People are funny — not always “ha ha funny” — but in bizarre, inexplicable, psychic ways.

Many years ago I had — I believed — a good friend. My wife and his wife had shared much pleasure together, in many different circumstances.

My friend and I had functioned together amicably in a healthy and happy way. We all were devoted to performances of great music and theater, and we often went as far as Daytona together to hear something extraordinary.

One day, in a group of friends, without my having said a word to him, my friend suddenly and without warning, crossed the room and attacked me loudly in words that were insulting and hostile.

Stunned, my wife and I waited a few minutes and then returned to our home.

The next day, I received a phone call from a fellow who knew both my erstwhile friend and me.

This man was, it seems, acting as a go-between for the guy who had attacked me the day before. This John Alden facsimile wanted me to initiate a get together with the “other guy” and “make things good again.”

I expressed my surprise that the other guy had not called me directly if he wished to speak with me. I thanked the “mouthpiece” and ended the conversation.

It occurs to me that in many clumsy moments, for some reason or another, people choose to have someone else speak for them. I suspect this process is the cowardly evasion of taking responsibility for ones own actions.

In fact, no third party can absolve you from the responsibility for what you, yourself, have said, and only you are fit to ask forgiveness for some misspoken words or deeds.

I never heard directly from my former friend and was not involved with the mourners when he died shortly thereafter.

Our long friendship had come to nothing, for the value he placed upon it was just that: nothing.

Only he could have built back what he had destroyed, and that was a tough process that would have involved his owning up to a wrong.

Had the wrong been on my side, I would gladly have apologized to save a friendship that had brought four people much pleasure for a score of years.

A New Year thought

At this time, pumpkin pie and brotherly love rest side by side on our plates.

Holiday good feelings should logically last throughout the year. Unfortunately, the giving mood is hard for the human animal to sustain.

Friends we celebrate seem to distance themselves as the calendar advances.

Here, in Central Florida, where as a young boy I canoed through our sparkling lakes, I have returned after plying the art of singing in a dozen countries.

I often feel a tugging wish for the simplicity of my boyhood on the lakes. But I doubt that a canoe and a casting rod could afford me the simple carefree times they once did. Happy New Year!