- April 25, 2024
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There's none alive can goad my spleen
Like people who repeat, "I mean."
I hope they'll all take like a hike,
Who don't know their "as" from a "like."
I wouldn't give the thinnest dime
For all who say "this point in time."
The Bible says that we shall reap just as we sow,
But you'll not reap at all with me if you repeat "you know?"
My nerves get fidgetal
With too much "digital."
When I am king I'll have an exile isle for every minion
Who says that ev'ry person has a right to "their" opinion.
May Satan damn to everlasting tedia
Those miscreants who speak about "a media."
With brio would I like to dangle ropefully
Those wantons who misuse the adverb "hopefully."
I'd rather say "goodbye" to a sublime dame
Than get myself entangled in her "time frame."
With clods who add to nouns a "wise,"
I'll never, ever socialize.
I do not wish to chew the fat
With those who don't know "Where it's at."
I'm quite aloof and getting deef
To those who ask me "What's your beef?"
T'wer my delight to set a poison menu on
The table of an oaf who says "continue on."
I do not give two dammeters
For things within "parameters."
I'd sooner hear a dolt who's curt yak,
Than listen to an egg-head say "revert back."
May hell's worst devils pick a mate
For tongue-tied folks who "indicate."
I steadfastly refuse to sup
With those who add to verbs an "up."
I'll ruthlessly impeach
A kid who calls me, "Teach."
A mind works hazically
That dotes on "basically."
I'd not accept a lease signed
By agents saying, "these kind."
Your brain's begun to putrefy
If you can say "For you and I."
I'd never ever seek out
A lady who could "freak out."
A knee-jerk "yes!" and fie to you
Who ask me, "Would I lie to you?"
I'd rather pay a heavy fine
Than have to scan your "bottom line."
Let amputating scalpels rend a
Tongue that speaks of "an" agenda.
With those who say "prioritize"
I shan't consort in any wise.
I'd trade my oxygen for argon
Just to dodge the latest jargon.
I'd rather have a bull to fight
Than suffer fools whose words are trite.
She cools my blood close to her lace
Who tells me we should "interface."
Chérie, please tell me — bring me joie —
If I stroke you, is that "patois?"
I'd turn down sexy Margo(t)
If she spoke only argo(t).
I'd sooner hear invective
Than thoughts on "cost-effective."
I warn you I'm going to be miffed
If you say that I'll get a "free" gift.
To ladies fat,
Here's where it's at:
What's linear,
Is skinnier.
But anorexia's
Not sexiea.
A guy that I once knew in college — Was short on charm, long on knowledge.
Fifty years later in life's weary game — His knowledge was gone, his charm, the same.
I'd rather get choked on a macademia...
Than sit through a meeting of academia.