Winter Garden family works with state leaders to create laws protecting parents from abuse

WINTER GARDEN — Alice Flowers and Rosemary Slaughter-Pate were best friends as much as they were sisters. They worked for the same company, ate lunch together and took vacations together. They cooked big Sunday meals together and looked for an excuse to jointly entertain family and friends.

Flowers, a Winter Garden resident, expected her little sister to always be there. But on July 15, 2013, 51-year-old Slaughter-Pate’s life ended when her 19-year-old son, Everett Pate, fatally stabbed her in their Ocoee home following years of violence and threatening behavior.

Flowers and her daughter, Tiffany Kelly, are on a crusade to make changes to the laws concerning parent abuse. They have created a nonprofit group called The Morning After Center for Hope and Healing Inc., a community organization designed to end family violence with a focus on child-to-parent abuse.

The pair hosts meetings at the end of each month to allow families to come together to discuss their problems in an open — but confidential — support-group forum. They call it a judgment-free zone. The next meeting is at 4 p.m. Saturday, July 25, at Flowers’ home, 232 Daniels Pointe Drive, Winter Garden. Anyone interested in attending is invited.

INTRODUCING LEGISLATION

Last year, State Sen. Geraldine Thompson proposed legislation to add parent abuse as a category under domestic violence, much like child, elder, domestic partner and spousal abuse. If passed, it would be the country’s first parent-abuse bill. It won unanimous approval by the Department of Children, Families & Elder Affairs.

“(But) there is still much work to be done for the bill to pass in both Houses and sub-committees,” Flowers said.

The University of Central Florida currently is conducting a study with Flowers and Kelly on child-to-parent violence and abuse, interviewing families who have been affected by this issue.

“We need families; we need data,” Flowers said.

Four families have been interviewed, she said, but organizers would like to talk to six more parents or caregivers in the next few months. Participants can remain anonymous and can elect to receive a $25 gift card. 

To sign up, email [email protected] or call or text Flowers at (321) 229-7688.

LIVING IN FEAR

Slaughter-Pate had been having trouble with her teenage son, who was prone to fits of anger, at times holding her hostage, jumping on her vehicle to keep her from going to work, robbing her and pawning her items and threatening to harm her, Flowers said.

She had called the police several times on her son, but because he was a minor at those times, he was ultimately released back to her.

“You must take care of your child, no matter what,” Flowers said.

And she certainly tried to get him treated at local hospitals and mental health facilities.

“She was really trying to get him help,” Flowers said.

Last summer, the worried mother was trying to put some rules in place and trying to make him responsible, so when he came home late the night before her death, she wouldn’t let him in.

Out of fear, Slaughter-Pate had installed security locks on her bedroom door, but in the end, it was when she opened the back door to take her dog outside the next morning that Everett attacked. Flowers said after he killed his mother, he and two friends tried to make the crime scene look like a robbery and poured bleach on the body in an attempt to hide evidence.

Everett Pate was sentenced to 30 years in prison on second-degree murder charges.

Flowers wants her sister to be remembered as a trustworthy person with a big heart.

Kelly, Slaughter-Pate’s niece, called her “an angel on earth.”

They also don’t want her death to be in vain, so they share their message with interest groups and have spoken in Tallahassee several times, trying to get the laws changed.

In July, the family is planning a fundraiser and memorial. There are no definite plans yet, but they are thinking of coordinating a bike ride, since Slaughter-Pate was a cycling enthusiast, or maybe a dinner with music.

The money they raise will help the Morning After Center with its mission and will allow the family to keep spreading the word about parent abuse — with the goal of getting new legislation passed that protects abused parents.

Flowers said, “We want an early-intervention plan to help not only the parent but  (also) the abusive child.”

—

WHAT IS PARENT ABUSE?

Parent abuse refers to the continual use of abusive tactics toward a parent, which enable minors to exercise power over a parent. The abusive tactics may be physical (e.g. punching, kicking), emotional (threats, attempts to humiliate and undermine) and/or economic (theft, damage to property) and, like other forms of family abuse, it is characterized by secrecy and shame. In particular, parent abuse involves a double stigma, because it combines the stigma of parenting a problematic child with the stigma of experiencing domestic violence in the home.​

Source: themorningaftercenter.org

—

Contact Amy Quesinberry Rhode at [email protected].