Chris Jepson: The choice for governor - Tweedledum or Tweedledee?

“Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.” — Jerry Garcia

When I think of Charlie Crist as Florida’s governor, I am reminded of the famous Lewis Carroll line from Alice in Wonderland, “Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." Hmmm?

Floridians are being asked to again choose Rick Scott for governor, the alleged “rags-to riches” right-wing ideologue businessman whose company (Columbia/HCA) was fined $1.7 billion for Medicare and Medicaid fraud, the largest fine of its kind. We have the choice of the Sergeant Schultz I-Know-Nothing Republican grifter for governor (Rick Scott), or the Mother-Of-All-Quick-Change-Artists, the equivocating, slippery, today-I’m-a-Democrat opportunist (Charlie Crist).

Florida confronts a choice between a grifter and a conman.

How can this be? How could Florida elect as its chief administrative officer, Rick Scott, a businessman who could not even oversee the honest dealings of his own corporation? And to this day refuses to adequately explain his role in that monumental fraud. How blind is the Florida electorate?

Is the electorate equally blind to Charlie Crist’s history of donning a weather-vane beanie — a history of sticking his finger in the air to see which way the wind is blowing — of his unvarnished B.S., of telling whatever to whomever?

If you want an accurate accounting of Charlie Crist, I heartily recommend that you read the exhaustive Aug. 8, 2014 Tampa Bay Times article (Google it) by staff writers Adam C. Smith and Michael Kruse. They interviewed more than 100 individuals, presenting a balanced portrait of a superb politician with — my take-away — the supple backbone of a nematode. To quote from the Times article on Crist, "People hear what they want to hear," he [Crist] would say. Or, "I meant it when I said it."

I hear you loud and clear, Charlie.

What is a Florida Democrat to do? The next governor will appoint four Florida Supreme Court judges (mandatory retirement at age 70). Do we want judges who will curtail a woman’s right to own her own body, who determine that a woman’s uterus is state property subject to government oversight? There will be environmental issues, school funding determinations, tax fairness debates, growth-management decisions, lobbying reform, congressional district lawsuits, and on and on and on.

Unfortunately for Florida, "Campaigning has always had more allure to him [Crist] than the governing," according to Governor Crist’s former chief of staff George LeMieux. How delightful.

So where does any of this leave Florida voters? We will be asked to vote for governor and make a decision between a Republican we know is sympathetic to corporate special interests, who will do their bidding on any tax equity initiatives as well as blocking business and environmental regulations. Scott is a Republican who, given the chance, would sell the keys of our non-profit public schools to for-profit corporate raiders, a Republican who genuflects at the altar of pro-life extremism.

A choice made all the more difficult because the gubernatorial alternative, Charlie Crist, is a “Democrat” in name only. He is an opportunistic, glad-handing political mendicant bereft of consistent values and positions, a shape-shifting conman.

Do we bet the governor’s mansion on the grifter (Tweedledum) we know or the conman (Tweedledee) we only think we know?

Some choice. No amount of bathing could ever wash the stink off this election.