Chris Jepson: Cutting to the chase...on lust

“Please, touch me, I pray.” – Jess C. Scott

There is timelessness to the human story that is as compelling as it is absurd. The absurdity — identified in today’s column — arises from the human predilection to make the simple, complex. We are all familiar with Occam’s razor that hypothesizes that "when you have two competing theories that make exactly the same predictions, the simpler one is the better." I refer here to lust between a man and a woman.

Decades ago I read that there are only so many themes in literature. Some “scholars” claim seven themes, others a dozen or more – but sex, well sex is a theme in and of itself. But is not sex a part of nearly all the themes, whether it be revenge, good versus evil, redemption, alienation, betrayal, power, coming of age, let alone the theme of love. So it is with a great deal of amusement when I read of the plethora of fallen Orlando preachers, caught with their, uh, on their knees, for something other than prayer services. But then again, perhaps their prayers were being answered.

The humor, of course, comes from the hypocrisy of the “anointed” succumbing to the “weakness of the flesh.” That every week preachers, priests and/or rabbis stand before their flocks imploring their congregants to resist temptation, of lust, only to be “outed” as fallen fornicators themselves. We, all of us, secretly love the stories of the sanctimonious getting their comeuppances. We do. None of us like being lectured on living particularly — especially — by those who do not walk their talk.

In the May 5, 2013 Orlando Sentinel was another article attempting to explain why pastors fall. I marveled at the explanations offered by fellow clergy and scholars researching the “temptations” of megachurch pastors. I laughed out loud. They have job pressures. Imagine that. And job demands. Poor darlings. Their lives are “taxing, erratic and unpredictable.” Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh my!

According to the Sentinel, “Gradually, the man of God falls prey to the mortal flesh – one small temptation at a time.”

Ah, temptation. I can resist anything but temptation. And that “small temptation” of mortal flesh is . . . woman! What an immense burden women have. Seriously, it seems like it is always women who are the catalyst for a man’s fall. Poor dears are a, hmmm, literal conduit for Satan’s evil!

Church pastors are instructed to follow the “Billy Graham Rule” of never being alone with a woman who is not your wife. Why? Because women are just too sexy, and men are weak.

Couple (no pun intended) that with all those “incredible” job pressures and demands as well as the unfortunate tendency of some pastors developing “an inflated sense of self,” and, well, during certain “pastoral” scenes, it isn’t just the Sunday choir belting out a resounding “Hallelujah!”

They fall. They succumb. Explanations are promulgated. Women are indirectly faulted for being, well, uh, hmmm, what they are. Sexy.

Let’s cut to the chase (so to speak). An Occam’s razor epiphany. Sex is “BIG” fun. There is nothing comparable. We lust after one another. We want each other “that” way. When “it” happens, please don’t conflate the reasons why. We’re really not that complicated.

"Of all the worldly passions, lust is the most intense. All other worldly passions seem to follow in its train.” – Buddha

Can I get an “Amen?” Rather, make that a “Hallelujah!”

Jepson is a 27-year resident of Central Florida. He’s fiscally conservative, socially liberal, likes art and embraces diversity of opinion. Reach him at [email protected]