Jim Govatos: The gift of time and selflessness

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." This quotation by St. Paul (Acts 20:35) is in high currency during the Christmas season. Countless parents use the adage to remind children about the real reason for the season. In November, Orlando witnessed the saying lived out in reality.

The occasion? The wedding of Heather and Scott Kuennen, who spent their wedding reception repairing the home of a needy Winter Park resident. The wedding took place on Nov. 29. Instead of indulging in an expensive party, the couple asked their guests to accompany them on an extreme home makeover for Sicily Wright. (See the article in the Orlando Sentinel http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-mustard-seed-local-couple-wedding-20141129-story.html).

What I find very interesting about the story is that weddings have become the symbols of self-indulgence in our culture. On average, couples in Orange County spend between $18,000 and $36,000 on their weddings. I've officiated at enough weddings to know that even when the price tag doesn't run that high, the day is often about the couple, especially the bride. To choose to serve others on your day of happiness is counter-cultural.

Actually, the self-indulgence of weddings is a symbol of the self-focus of many marriages in our society today. The day of happiness is supposed to extend into months and years of happiness for the very special culture. Much of their energy goes into ensuring that they have enough for themselves. However, marriage was never meant to be just about the couple. The preamble to most wedding services (Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here...) contains wording like this:

"Marriage is given that children may be born and brought up in security and love, that home and family life may be strengthened, and that society may stand upon firm foundations."

There is supposed to be an outward focus of the marriage, which transcends a momentary happiness check. I think the ignoring of this purpose for marriage is one of the things that contribute to the demise of so many of them. When you are just building happiness, the structure begins to wobble when things get unhappy. If you are building more, then the beams of vision and self-sacrifice help strengthen the building when the other parts seem weak.

That Heather and Scott chose to look outward on their wedding day says a lot about how they intend to focus their marriage. If they can help one woman change her home in a day, think what they will accomplish in a lifetime!

There was a man long ago whose love was also focused outward. His name was Jesus. Like most people, he received gifts on his birthday. But the gold, frankincense and myrrh didn't begin to compare with what he gave away. In reflecting on the value of Christ's gift, St. Paul wrote:

You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich.

2 Corinthians 8:9 (NLT)

To this day, I find it interesting that Christmas is the one birthday of the year where all the party guests receive bigger gifts than the one having the birthday! But then again, it is in the nature of God to give more than he receives.

May you experience some of his grace this Christmas!