Jim Govatos: How's the baggage?

I don’t watch reality TV shows. However, I recently came across a USA Today posting on my iPhone about an episode of “The Bachelorette” in which the star’s 6-year-old daughter was described as “baggage” by one of her suitors, as in the little girl is always there. Mom Emily was rightly upset and sent the guy packing.

In an effort to appease the furious Emily, another suitor likens the little girl to a Chloé handbag (duh factor for me, don’t know what it is, but something special no doubt). Emily is delighted her date gives her daughter Louis Vuitton status. But the sad fact is the little girl is still baggage being carried about by her mom from London to Dubrovnik, Croatia, while a bunch of hot guys pursue her mother.

I know this is reality TV, which is really unreality. However, it points to a deeper underlying attitude toward children that has been developing in our culture for some time: children as baggage to be shown off or carried with reluctance, depending upon the circumstances. Give me a chance to unpack that statement a bit before you shoot off a series of angry emails.

I realize that a lot of parents are fiercely protective of their kids and love them deeply, but kids as a “problem” still persists. Why else would we have such difficulty funding our public schools? Their education is a burden that must be borne rather than a delight to invest in.

The other place I see children often treated as baggage is in family court. Already broken hearts are broken even further as each parent asserts his or her “right” to have access to their kids. Oftentimes living and visitation arrangements are made that totally fail to account for the feelings or well-being of the child involved. Instead of asking together, “How are we going to raise these children through the pain we’ve inflicted upon them?” the divorced parents often fight over how to position themselves in their children’s lives.

Granted these are situations of families under stress when nobody is at their best. That is why it is so important for the surrounding culture to be sending messages out that value children. Those messages can help lift people out of their pain into noble behavior. The Bible says that children are a gift from God: Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him (Psalm 127:3). I know that’s hard to remember when you’re on the fifth dirty diaper of the day or you are enduring the door-slamming of pre-adolescence, but ask any parent who has lost a child to death and they will tell you just how precious a gift that child is.

I don’t think most adults set out to treat children like baggage. It’s just that life gets in the way, and it’s more convenient to put a handle on them and lug them to where we want them to go rather than stop and realize how precious a gift they really are — precious enough to change what we’re doing to make sure they get what they really need. Even when they’re viewed as a Louis Vuitton bag, they’re still baggage.

Rev. Jim Govatos is senior pastor at Aloma United Methodist Church located in Winter Park. A former atheist, Jim is passionate about helping people understand and experience a living faith in Jesus Christ. Please share your thoughts by emailing [email protected]