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Winter Park / Maitland Observer Wednesday, Sep. 28, 2011 6 years ago


Now Mexico has so many poor people it exports them. Maybe that is the way to America's brave new future!
by: Chris Jepson Staff Writer

OK, kids. Today’s question deals with economics. How many poor people are enough? We need ’em, right? Poor people. Seemingly we do. Else, why would God create so many of them? Huh? It’s just how many poor people are the right amount?

Let’s see. America has all sorts of poor people. It does. It will be real, real hard for America, however, to get into the big leagues of poor people. China and India already have that market cornered. For generations to come. Hard to compete in the major leagues of poverty. But America tries. It does. Now Mexico has so many poor people it exports them. Hey now! Isn’t that exciting! Maybe that is the way to America’s brave new future — exporting our poor! Maybe to Canada!

Why is America creating so many poor of late? Well, that’s the $64,000 question. It took decades for America to gut its middle class, but damn if we ain’t dogged in our determination to be No. 1 in creating poor folk. God loves ’em you know. The poor.

There are two ways to the poor house. Haha! To the poor house. Where are you going America? To the poor house. Haha! Why? Cuz we be dumb.

How dumb be we? We are too trusting. We trust our leaders to look after all of us when they are only looking out after themselves. They are. They say America needs to be more competitive with the world. If we don’t cut wages and benefits, jobs and factories will go to Vietnam. The jobs go. Wages are cut anyway. Towns die. More jobs go. Oh, and jobs go because a Chinese factory can pollute but not so much in America. America loses jobs because it’s too clean. What a dirty rotten shame. That America has such standards.

We create trade treaties. Trade treaties you say? Yea. We trade America’s middle class for cheap foreign goods. That is the real trade! Walmart is happy. And everyone makes out, “they” say. Except, chickens do come home to roost. No wage increases for decades, jobs gone and a shrunken middle class that is broke. That is progress though. Huh? Remember today’s lesson? How many poor people are enough? Don’t forget, too. God, wuvs his poor ones. He makes so many of ’em. How?

We breed ’em, too. What? Yea, we say to all our poor, go ahead and breed and have more poor because every sperm and egg is real special. You’re broke, no job, no prospects, no future, no skills and your little honey is pregnant. Yet again. And again. And again. Sex is free (and fun) except later when those babies cry because things ain’t working out so good. But God loves ’em. From afar. Don’t-cha see. God doesn’t want birth control. He wants all his poor to be born. Poor. Least that is what the faithful say. God wuvs the faithful more because He’s bring ’em them home. Someday.

So America’s rich has to learn a new trick. And fast. Our poor don’t keep to themselves. Unfortunately. They go public. They stand on corners with their poor hands out. They protest. They sleep on grates and make America’s downtowns smell stinky. Those poor are stinky.

You rich folk, just drive by. Continue on. And don’t worry your pretty little selves at all about the poor because God wuvs ’em. All of them. Mostly in heaven though.

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