Perspectives

”The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

A local reader recently took me to the woodshed of Letters to the Editor and gave me the verbal beating she thought I well deserved. Take that you relativist! And that, you multiculturalist! You, you, liberal!

My reader opined, “Chris Jepson honestly believes he believes in diversity of thought. What he actually believes in is diversity of culture (multiculturalism), moral relativism and conformity of thought. What really irritates is his tagline. Chris Jepson is ‘fiscally conservative, socially liberal’. Is that an oxymoron or what?”

Oh, my gawd, not a tolerant multiculturalist?! When I read that criticism, I wondered, how can that be a bad thing? In America? The world’s melting pot? To be anything but a multiculturalist seems, well, un-American.

Gosh, the fact that the best man at my wedding 40-plus years ago was a bulllaaaack man, oh my! Or, that I’d go to France anytime (anytime!) and eat dem’ nasty ol’ Freedom Fries!

Stop now, Chris! Don’t say it, Chris, don’t do it … why, even some of my good friends are … dare I say it? Gay! Shudder, shudder! Now I’ve done it! Jews, too! Oh, Nooooo! Yes, I’ve even had Jews at my dinner table. And, I at theirs. Many times. Even a Unitarian or two. Stop it! And unbelievably, I willingly dine with Republicans on occasion! Egads, I am one of those! A dreaded multiculturalist!

Not only that, but I practice situational ethics! I do. And during those often tricky ethical adult moments, I employ moral relativism. Yep. Any rational, mature human being does.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” observed Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Conformity of thought? Accuse me of anything. Faulty logic. Intemperate comments. Simplistic thinking. But conformity of thought? Let’s see if I understand the logic. If I conform to “your” thinking, well, I’m OK, but if I espouse “liberal” positions, I’m a commie-socialist anti-American pinko. I’m just another moral-relativist, homo-loving secular humorist. Is that it?

Which leads me to “What really irritates is his tagline. Chris Jepson is ‘fiscally conservative, socially liberal’. Is that an oxymoron or what?”

Let’s see. Fiscally conservative. I fervently believe in balanced budgets, pay as you go. I wouldn’t run our imperialistic wars off the nation’s financial books. Trillions in debt for idiotic wars. I don’t support corporate welfare. Financial bailouts? Only if any corrupt CEO is already hanging from the yardarm. I’d solve the Social Security problem by, over time, increasing the retirement age and raising payroll taxes. Fiscal intelligence? Well, single-payer Medicare for all Americans makes economic sense. If all Americans are part of the team, that is socially liberal? Yes. I don’t want the government ever monitoring my daughter’s (or any woman’s) womb. A marriage is what you personally make it. I don’t give a damn if you marry a goat (many actually do). Don’t ask, don’t tell? Why even think to ask in the first place? Who cares? Younger Americans sure don’t. Prayer in public schools? Sure, if Gaea is invoked? Birth control? Put it in the drinking water. Clean air? Clean water? Clean land and food? Gosh! How novel.

An unapologetic liberal? You bet-cha. I am. Innocent, as charged.