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Winter Park / Maitland Observer Thursday, Aug. 5, 2010 7 years ago

Play On!

Simple as pie
by: Louis Roney Staff Writer

My beloved wife often calls me "Pie" for no apparent reason other than that she does it. Is it maybe because I'm getting crusty? I have never pretended to be a "sweetie" or any other variety of pie! And, to boot, on special occasions, beloved wife calls me "Pie-pie." I have never questioned her sanity, and the reason is that I'm afraid of her.

You see, I have read Sigie Freud, and he says that people often say things impossible to explain when you are married to them. That's why marriage is what's known as a "sacred institution" in order for it to endure. Anyhow, "pie" confuses me, as I'm a simple guy who likes to have all the information about anything being done or said. I've been married 30 years to this well nigh-perfect gal, but time does little to enlighten me in such situations.

This "pie" business didn't start until we were legally married. Up until that time, she called me by my given name. Maybe she thought that any variation from the norm might upset the applecart before I took the vow. So I just ignore what I think to be a meaningless aberration. If that is the only thing outre about our relationship, I considered myself a lucky guy indeed. But don't anybody else call me "Pie!" Understand?


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My daughter Bev, who lives in Connecticut, submitted her dog's name "Thor" as a "pleased customer" in a contest sponsored by a dog food manufacturer. Thor was one of 20 winners, and the prize is a year's supply of dog food. By my calculation, Bev could soon be receiving 365 cans of dog food. I guess one of their cars may have to be parked on the street for a long while.

A booklet distributed by the dog food company has a cute picture of said dog asleep, with his head on his master's empty shoe and a letter from Thor describing his favorite activities: "I entertain myself by stealing TV remotes and socks, and hiding them. I also like to chase lightning bugs in the summer, jumping in the river behind the house, rolling in the mud, and then going to sleep for a while — yes, I consider sleeping an important activity!"

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