Sublime Rhymetime

There's none alive can goad my spleen

Like people who repeat, "I mean."

I hope they'll all take like a hike,

Who don't know their "as" from a "like."

I wouldn't give the thinnest dime

For all who say "this point in time."

The Bible says that we shall reap just as we sow,

But you'll not reap at all with me if you repeat "you know?"

My nerves get fidgetal

With too much "digital."

When I am king I'll have an exile isle for every minion

Who says that ev'ry person has a right to "their" opinion.

May Satan damn to everlasting tedia

Those miscreants who speak about "a media."

With brio would I like to dangle ropefully

Those wantons who misuse the adverb "hopefully."

I'd rather say "goodbye" to a sublime dame

Than get myself entangled in her "time frame."

With clods who add to nouns a "wise,"

I'll never, ever socialize.

I do not wish to chew the fat

With those who don't know "Where it's at."

I'm quite aloof and getting deef

To those who ask me "What's your beef?"

T'wer my delight to set a poison menu on

The table of an oaf who says "continue on."

I do not give two dammeters

For things within "parameters."

I'd sooner hear a dolt who's curt yak,

Than listen to an egg-head say "revert back."

May hell's worst devils pick a mate

For tongue-tied folks who "indicate."

I steadfastly refuse to sup

With those who add to verbs an "up."

I'll ruthlessly impeach

A kid who calls me, "Teach."

A mind works hazically

That dotes on "basically."

I'd not accept a lease signed

By agents saying, "these kind."

Your brain's begun to putrefy

If you can say "For you and I."

I'd never ever seek out

A lady who could "freak out."

A knee-jerk "yes!" and fie to you

Who ask me, "Would I lie to you?"

I'd rather pay a heavy fine

Than have to scan your "bottom line."

Let amputating scalpels rend a

Tongue that speaks of "an" agenda.

With those who say "prioritize"

I shan't consort in any wise.

I'd trade my oxygen for argon

Just to dodge the latest jargon.

I'd rather have a bull to fight

Than suffer fools whose words are trite.

She cools my blood close to her lace

Who tells me we should "interface."

Chérie, please tell me — bring me joie —

If I stroke you, is that "patois?"

I'd turn down sexy Margo(t)

If she spoke only argo(t).

I'd sooner hear invective

Than thoughts on "cost-effective."

I warn you I'm going to be miffed

If you say that I'll get a "free" gift.

To ladies fat,

Here's where it's at:

What's linear,

Is skinnier.

But anorexia's

Not sexiea.

A guy that I once knew in college — Was short on charm, long on knowledge.

Fifty years later in life's weary game — His knowledge was gone, his charm, the same.

I'd rather get choked on a macademia...

Than sit through a meeting of academia.