Since Tom and Dick courted Mary

Finally, a mass murdering female! Equality demands it. Circumstances provide it. What's the expression? "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Over college tenure, no less. My, my. So modern!

By now I am sure you've heard of Amy Bloom, the University of Alabama professor who was denied tenure. "Allegedly" she opened fire on colleagues, killing three. All sorts of "stuff" is coming out about her, such as she shot and killed her 15-year-old brother with a shotgun when she was 20 (ruled accidental) and that she was investigated for a potential bomb incident dealing with her doctoral dissertation and the chairman of her review committee. Hmmm? I do see a trend, some unfortunate coincidences.

I'd like to see her tested for testosterone. I typically reserve such craziness as strictly a male prerogative. Although we are seeing an uptick in the ever-so-fashionable Muslim practice of female suicide bombings. Not to be outdone by their male fanatics, Islamic females are stepping up to the plate, taking their swing at martyrdom for the cause of jihad.

I always find religious extremism so attractive (don't you?), such that when one branch (say Sunnis) of the same religion blows to smithereens adherents of another branch (say Shite's), well, it's downright inspiring — their religious faith. A faith so profound it makes me question why we have separation of church and state in America. Let's bring that old time 15th century religion back to America, too. Recall when Christians butchered one another with the same ease that Muslims do today. Ah, that old time religion. Gotta love it. But I digress.

Women and violence. Maybe it is just now occurring to American females that being smaller and physically weaker — typically speaking — than men is no impediment at all when extracting one's pound of flesh. For thousands of years women have had to put up with insult after insult, not to mention the injuries. Violence and oppression of women has been the historical norm. Less than 100 years ago women in America couldn't vote. Examine 19th century state laws and you will be amazed that women couldn't divorce, couldn't own property and for darn sure, couldn't vote. They were even unwelcome as participants at pre-Civil War abolitionist meetings (to eliminate slavery) — an irony that was not lost on the feminists of that time.

Over the years I've taught a history class or two, and if the material warranted it I would ask the female class participants to speculate on, generally speaking (specifics abound), why men have been so beastly to women? Where did the idea come from that women weren't as capable as men, weren't as smart or creative and/or that their input unnecessary when community decisions were made. Imagine the world today (our species) if women all along had been free and equal to men, their perspective and insights considered, their values and votes counted. As those of their male counterparts. I am not naive to think women perfect (hardly) but I do believe they bring to the table "values" that are not necessarily so prevalent in/from the male perspective.

You say, "Oh, Jepson, there you go again." Oh? It came as no surprise to me that quite quickly during the current Haitian relief effort, food coupons were given to women only. Why you ask? Because the children weren't getting fed when it was a free for all.

More than likely, most students (male & female) would cite the differences in size and strength and the unique role females have in the perpetuation of the species (females get pregnant) as the primary reasons women were considered "less" than men. Go figure on that. Granted, when confronting violence (securing food or combat), I'd just a soon have an equivalent male (6 foot 4, 200 pounds) at my side as a "typical" female. But for all those "other" life experiences in prehistoric times, women brought as much (or more) to the table as most males.

My sister believes that one of the reasons women have been historically sequestered and controlled is because of sex. I have a joke (Hah! Hah!) I say that goes, "No man knows for sure" who the father of his child is. I know it's cynical but being cuckolded and raising another man's sperm contribution has been a troubling, perplexing issue (for men) since the git-go. Since Tom and Dick courted Mary. Paternity isn't the issue it once was (what with genetic testing) but old male fears (instincts?) die hard.

For whatever the reasons men treated and considered women inferior, their beliefs became institutionalized in our religions. Look at Christianity. Look at Catholicism today. Male management hierarchies/bureaucracies where women are unwelcome. Attempts at controlling female sexuality and reproduction. These are vestiges of male dominance passing for religious authority. Ridiculous and absurd in every sense of the meaning.

Martin Luther, as repugnant an anti-Semite as ever lived, changed the course of history when he nailed up his 95 Theses and started the Reformation. Prior to Martin Luther, the clergy did not consort with (marry) women. Too good for the ladies they were (are?). Well, Martin Luther changed that by marrying. Big impact on the status of women. Good enough now for God's spokesman they (women) were.

Even more significant was Martin Luther's insistence that women be taught to read. Prior to this period in history (circa 1500 Europe), women were not educated to read. Luther thought everyone should have access to God, through reading his "vernacularized" Bible.

Well, that started all sorts of things and arguably, here we are today in the West where women have achieved near, if not equivalent, equality with men. Granted, there remains pay inequities and some professions have not entirely or warmly embraced the idea of gender equity. But the day will come when the Congressional buffoons, our Supreme Court and the presidency will all have female majorities or leadership and we'll say, with our rosy revisionist glasses on, "Oh, for the good ol' daze when the boys ran things!" Or, maybe not.

I think we should get out of Afghanistan today but before we leave we should give every woman and girl there a 45-caliber pistol with enough rounds (and training) to protect herself and her sisters from the male abuses and oppression that comes from living in that 15th century misogynistic, theocratic, repressive hellhole. And exit visas for all Afghan women who are smart enough to know that to stay is doom.

Examine the images (stories/myths) that our daughters today are now being exposed to (and who willingly embrace) and you will clearly come away with the understanding that it "ain't no more" Nancy Drew stories that are captivating our girls. It is now Super Heroines who don't take "Nothing off nobody! No time! No way!" And. Let a few years pass.

Make'um sometimes "real pissed-off honey's," 21st century modern-day women with an edge, an attitude and a pistol and well, shoot'um-up, bang-bang becomes the new norm.

I heartily recommend to my more introspective brothers that it's a new morn' in America. Be civil. Be respectful. Be considerate. Always. And, it's still OK to open a door for a lady.

After all, she may be packin'. Hah! Hah! Hmmm.