Maitland org to raffle off BMW

Danielle Scherrer was born with three holes in her heart, but 11 years later the suicide of her "Uncle Freddy" left a gaping hole no heart surgeon could mend.

Fred Rice, the ex-husband of Danielle's mother, Michelle, "loved her like a second dad since she was a toddler," Michelle said. Danielle and Michelle experienced sadness and guilt for being unable to prevent Rice from taking his own life in September 2007.

Danielle attended a six-week counseling program at school but was asked not to discuss the circumstances of Rice's death for fear of upsetting other children. She grew sullen and angry.

"Her grades were slipping," said Michelle, "I was losing her."

Then a coworker told Michelle about The Center for Grieving Children in Maitland, part of the New Hope for Kids non-profit organization, which provides free grief support services to children and their families.

The Center will host a fundraiser and will auction off a new 2010 BMW 128i courtesy of Fields BMW on Friday, April 16. Tickets are $100 and two tickets are $150.

The grief center is in a vintage two-story gold stucco home surrounded by beautiful landscaping, sheltering trees and a screened front porch, rather than being housed in a sterile office. The home puts families at ease with comfy sofas, hardwood floors, flowers and area rugs.

"After the first visit, Danielle asked 'How soon can we come back?'" Michelle said. "Once Danielle realized she could finally talk about what happened, she couldn't stop."

Program Director Tamari Miller also knows grief. She was 17 when her mother died of cancer. "Grief is taboo in our society; no one talks about death until it happens, then people don't know what to say. However it is a journey you can't walk alone," she said.

Miller has helped more than 2,500 families and 3,300 children in the past decade. Families meet biweekly and break into age groups 3-6 years, 7-12 years, 13-18 years and adult. The children sit on the floor in a circle, introduce themselves and name the loved one who died. A grief beach ball covered with questions is tossed about, and children are encouraged to answer whatever question the ball lands on. Then each child chooses an activity room.

"We have rooms for arts and crafts, dress up, painting, air hockey and a sand room as well as our hurricane room," said Cory Johns, Marketing and Volunteer Programs manager.

Most rooms have wall murals, stuffed animals and pillows to hug. "Our walls upstairs are covered floor to ceiling with their artwork, which is very therapeutic. The youngest children often cannot express themselves in words. But they may bury a plastic dinosaur, police car or ambulance in the sand."

Families are encouraged to commit to a year of biweekly visits. Miller said some families stay longer. "It isn't just about coping with grief; it is learning how to get through it." There will always be members along the journey to give encouragement to newer members, Miller said.

Danielle's favorite room was the hurricane room. Named for its blue padded floors and walls and signature punching bag, kids can vent aggression.

New Hope for Kids, formerly Children's Wish Foundation, grants wishes to children with life-threatening illnesses and also operates the largest independent grief support center in Florida.

After completing the program many decide to volunteer, such as Michelle Scherrer, who lost her job last year. Michelle helps with office duties, snack preparation, activities and art projects. Executive Director David Joswick is proud of their work. "It is truly a team effort — everyone is committed to the mission of helping these kids and their families."

Danielle and Michelle celebrate Fred's memory on his birthday by watching his favorite movie, eating his favorite foods and releasing pink and green balloons — Danielle's favorite color is pink and green celebrates "Uncle Freddy the Frog". Danielle recently graduated from the center's program after two years. Her mom proudly reports that Danielle prevented a classmate's suicide and wants to be a grief facilitator.

New Hope hosts three key fundraisers per year supported by Art of the Vine organizations such as Fields BMW Winter Park. General Manager John Mantione, who has been involved from the beginning, said, "New Hope helps families thrown in the most horrific conditions when a loved one is lost. They are extraordinary people doing extraordinary work, and we continue to support it the best we can."

Joswick says the center always needs volunteers for events and summer camp. He is currently seeking assistance to resurface the center's parking lot.

"The grieving process is like a roller coaster — you're never sure which crazy turn is going to spin you around. You appreciate the highs but you know the lows are lurking," Miller said.

Win a BMW

Win a New 2010 BMW 128i courtesy of Fields BMW.

The New Hope for Kids 20th Annual Drawing of Chance is Friday, April 16. Tickets are $100 and two tickets are $150.

For rules and tickets call 407-331-3059 ext. 10 or visit www.newhopeforkids.org .

New Hope for Kids

The Center for Grieving Children is located at 900 N. Maitland Ave. in Maitland.

Call 407-599-0904 or visit www.newhopeforkids.org