Chris Jepson: Sorry Charlie

I read a recent essay by Pamela Erens which read, “These American teens look up to their strong mothers and believe in equal rights. So why won’t they use the F-word?” The F-word in this instance is feminist. As coincidence will have it, as I wrote this column I was drinking from a coffee cup I received from the Orlando Sentinel on March 22, 1990. Back in the day The Sentinel held a sweet little annual event, a Letter Writers’ Forum for all the folks who submitted published “My Word” columns the previous year.

I often drink from the coffee cup from that 1990 event. It has a cartoon about Charlie Reese (former columnist) on it. The punch line reads, “Looks like Charlie Reese wrote another anti-feminist column.” Two editors are pictured surrounded by piles of letters with the implication being that Reese inflamed a bunch of wild-eyed feminists who wrote the Sentinel irate over his conservative perspective.

I confess to not thinking much about such issues until my daughter was born in 1970. Up to that point in my life, I hadn’t had many conversations about the status of women vis-à-vis men and/or “their” place in society. I grew-up exposed to a mother who (from my perspective) did what she wanted to do. Be an artist. Work. You bet-cha. Go back to college and complete (after having four children) her Bachelor’s degree, her M.A. and doctorate. Get a college teaching appointment. Raise, ride and show American Saddlebreds. Paint. Follow her dreams unequivocally. Seeing my mother pursue her dreams was a gift to me.

So exposed, it would be hard for me not to think that that is how it should be for all women: free to follow one’s dreams.

My maternal grandmother, in her own way, was a tough, resilient independent woman, too. My sisters as well. My wife of many years is a woman worthy of respect simply on the basis of her intellect, guts and determination. I’ve been fortunate to have many examples of strong, assured women in my life.

But it was the birth of my daughter some 45 years ago that crystalized my thinking on the subject of how should my daughter think about herself and her place in the world.

I think, broadly speaking, there are differences in how each sex approaches life. I could now invest thousands of words on just that subject, how evolutionary-wise we’ve arrived at the differences between the sexes; suffice it to say there are feminine and masculine characteristics. That said, women should not be limited in their life choices because they have a uterus. Anatomy is not destiny.

If I could wave a magic wand and change one thing about the history of our species, it might be the tragic marginalization of women by men. Imagine if women had had a seat at the table the past 7,000 years as equals to men, had weighed-in on societal issues, had had the ability to offer their perspective and have it valued. How different our world might be today.

Feminism is about creating a society where all women are valued similarly (equally if you will) to all men. One rises (succeeds) on individual initiative and not necessarily advantaged by what dangles — or doesn’t — between your legs.

Feminism is an idea worthy of support by any reflective, intelligent human being. Sorry, Charlie.

Selfishly, making life better (fairer, just, enriched) for women only makes life better for men.