Chris Jepson: Trumpism, bad hair days and yoga toots

If Trump is the actual spawn of Satan, what then to make of his minions? For reasons inexplicable to me Jerry Falwell Jr.—in his position as president of Liberty University—eagerly endorsed Donald Trump for president. This appears odd to me as Trump has been thrice married, historically supported abortion rights as well as publicly stating, “Amending the Civil Rights Act would grant the same protection to gay people that we give to other Americans—it's only fair.” These “acts” seem in stark contrast to the basic tenets of the Moral Majority. But, as astutely noted by skeptics, the Moral Majority is neither moral nor a majority.

This is a particularly sad column this week because my wife is having a bad hair week as a result of Donald Trump. I’ve never cried over a haircut, but truth be told, some folks do. I remember driving back from Springfield, Mo. in 1977 with my wife crying and puckering-up the entire 90 miles over a disastrous “styling” she received. My philosophy then was, “Jeeeez. Relax. It’ll grow back.” As a much wiser man today, I offer words of support such as, “Is it time to go gun shopping?” We laugh but her pause before uttering, “Of course not,” was a little longer than expected.

Believing she would get a pulse on what the electorate was thinking, she asked her “stylist” what her clients were saying about Trump. In hindsight, this was not a wise choice of topics as the stylist turned out to be an adamant supporter of Trump. Now when I encounter someone who volunteers they willingly drink the Kool-Aid, I tactfully pivot away with, “That’s interesting, oh, my coffee needs refreshing” or “What’s that? Ur, excuse me, I think my car tire is going flat.”

I’ve read every imaginable explanation for Trump’s appeal. I really don’t think his support is strictly confined to old, disaffected white boys with limited educations and income. I do think his support, however, is pretty much limited to old white people. If, for example, you look at the recent Republican presidential primary results in Seminole County, Trump did quite well in the more affluent zip codes. I wasn’t surprised.

Over an hour our hair stylist summed-up her support with, “Trump is not a weenie. I trust the Republican Party. Trump will appoint good people to positions of power.” It turns out—no surprise here—that she abhors Barack Obama because, when pressed, the president commented thoughtfully on “Black Lives Matter” and he met with the parents of Trayvon Martin. Do you imagine race as a factor in her prejudice?

OK, all the while this extended political conversation is going on our stylist is becoming more and more agitated and more and more hair is being clipped off. Sadly, my wife ended having a truly bad hair day. She didn’t laugh when I asked, “Do you think the salon will settle out of court?” I thought it quite funny.

One last observation on Trump: I caught a conversation in yoga class recently between several women discussing Trump’s many virtues. Muffled conversation and comments ensued, heads knowingly nodding in agreement and I had a visceral response that this was no way to start my yoga practice.

Later, deep in a pose, I heard that unmistakable yoga toot, looked over and inwardly laughed. One Trump supporter had passed gas and I thought it hard to differentiate that from what emanates from her mouth.

Namaste.