Perspectives

I distinctly remember the first time I caught a young Whitney Houston singing “How Will I Know.” It was a mesmerizing 1987 performance that showcased her beauty and voice. The song resonates with me to this day, and I’ll laughingly sing the title words to myself whenever questioning what I am being told.

How will I know if the GOP’s really hosing me? How will I know?

I am at a loss as to why anyone with half a brain votes Republican. Let’s review the last Republican gubernatorial election in Florida. Rick Scott was the candidate. In 1997, Rick Scott resigned as CEO of Columbia/HCA amid an FBI probe into his company for massive Medicare fraud. The company subsequently paid a record $1.7 billion in criminal and civil fines. Let me repeat, that’s $1.7 billion in criminal and civil fines.

Let’s review Scott’s qualifications to be the Republican governor. Either Scott was crooked as a barrel of guts and deftly prevaricated to avoid culpability and prosecution, or Scott was so incompetent as CEO that he had no clue his corporation was committing massive fraud.

Explain how either of these scenarios prepares him to be governor. Crooked or incompetent? Hmmm? Scott deftly played the electorate. He repeatedly asserted that he took responsibility for what happened (Whatta stand-up guy!) but then played the Sgt. Schultz (“Hogan’s Heroes”) card, “I knew nothing!”

It’s quickly become a joke. No one admits voting for the man. I actually knew two people who voluntarily said — unbelievably! — that they voted for George Bush’s second term as president. But no one claims to have voted for Scott.

How will I know if the GOP’s really hosing me? How will I know?

Folks, do you ever doubt for a minute whose interests Republicans are really looking out for? C’mon! Really?

Here’s an idea. Let’s give developers, with no environmental oversight, a blank check to convert public state parklands into private golf courses and high-rises. Republican state legislators John Thrasher and Pat Rooney proposed just such a “business opportunity” before the light of public scrutiny crashed their idea. Think: overturned rock/cockroaches.

Hey now! This is just good ol’ Republican environmentalism. Why not replace Florida’s natural habitat with turf that requires heavy watering and chemical pesticides. It gets better. Our competition-is-sacred state Republicans recommended no-bid contracts for their friends. Suh-weeeeet! I just love Republican-style capitalism, don’t you?

How will I know if the GOP’s really hosing me? How will I know?

When Newt Gingrich runs for the presidency and announces that his many marital infidelities were “partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country”? I cannot make this stuff up. Yes, the Newtster married his high school geometry teacher. Yes, that’s right, his teacher. Years later, he abandoned that woman in a hospital room where she was recovering from cancer surgery.

Newt’s second marriage ended while he was having an affair with his now-third wife.

Guess what? Remember when Republicans were holding impeachment hearings and “sheet sniffing” President Bill Clinton? Well, who was the sanctimonious, righteous GOP voice of indignant moral outrage? Our very same Newt “doing it for God and country” Gingrich, who was, by the way, deep into, hmmm, an extra-marital affair.

How will I know if the GOP’s really hosing me? We all know.