Nancy Rudner Lugo: The human instinct to help coordinated by technology

Bad things happen. Good people want to help. When Elise was going through radiation treatments against a rampant cancer, her large circle of friends overwhelmed her with their kind offers to help. Unsure how to help, they brought food. The Midwesterners created casseroles. The expatriate New Yorkers brought enough deli food to fill two refrigerators. Elise didn’t have the energy to orchestrate her needs and all the offers for help. And even if she could, she wasn’t very good at asking for help.

A friend set up a private, personalized calendar to match needs and help on a free website called LotsaHelpingHands.com. The website coordinator would post what Elise needed — rides to and from treatments, visits, supplies from the pharmacy, and cleaning out the refrigerator stuffed with the food gifts. Her circle of friends signed up for the days and tasks that fit for them. The website sent automatic reminder messages to the helpful volunteers. Everyone shared the load, so the plenty of helping hands created a web of support without overtaxing anyone. Everyone knew what he or she was doing met a need. The announcement feature on LotsaHelpingHands.com broadcasted updates on Elise’s status.

Another challenge for families facing a health crisis is finding an efficient avenue for sharing updates and news, good and bad, about the medical journey back to health. The family of a Winter Park man who was severely injured in an accident is passionate about Caring Bridge (www.CaringBridge.org), the free online communication program. Family and friends are naturally concerned and want to express good wishes and get updates. Coming home from a long tough day in the hospital with the hope of a hot bath and some sleep to take away the nightmare, family members instinctively feel a surge of dreaded fear of bad news whenever the phone rings, even if it turns out to be a well-intended phone call from family or friends. On Caring Bridge, everyone is engaged with updates and supportive messages but it’s not intrusive. This single source of information avoids misinformation of the complex situation and rumors. The local family’s entries in Caring Bridge not only give updates, but also share a beautiful testimony of love, hope and faith.

In both websites, the coordinator sets up a private website and controls who can see it. The names of the websites define their central purpose. CaringBridge.org, with donation support, bridges communication needs, with an additional task support function. LotsaHelpingHands.com coordinates help and needs, with an additional caring communication feature.

The tie among us all is our humanness and how we care for one another. The websites make coordination easier, but it is our humanness that makes the caring.