How not to react to gay marriage controversies

I have to admit I am a bit behind the times. Even though I get most of my news online now, I’ve never really followed the comment sections of online news articles all that closely. However, a recent article about Ben Carson caught my attention and caused me to dive in more deeply.

For those of you who don’t know him, Dr. Carson is an outstanding physician with a remarkable life story. Growing up in the ghettoes of Detroit, a firm mother and gracious God helped Dr. Carson end up as director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins at the age of 33, the youngest person ever appointed to that post. His life story was chronicled in a book, “Gifted Hands,” which was later turned into a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

Dr. Carson ran into recent trouble by making unfortunate statements while sharing his views on homosexual marriage. He later apologized for his hurtful comments. Having met Dr. Carson, a mild-mannered, humble man, a few years ago, I am sure his apology was very sincere.

What I found fascinating, though, was the thread of comments posted by readers. Their personal positions on the issue were all over the place as one might expect. What was remarkable, and more than a little disturbing, was the tenor of the comments from both sides. They were intense and at times downright ugly. The people who agreed with Dr. Carson’s comments thundered against his critics and castigated him for apologizing for insensitivity. Dr. Carson’s critics lambasted him for being bigoted and an idiot.

What was totally missing in the threads was any kind of discussion about the subject matter (homosexual marriage). Instead, the two-way traffic flow was filled with barbed sarcasm and name-calling. I even found myself caught up in the whole thing. When one poster called Dr. Carson an idiot, I responded, “Really? And when was the last time you separated Siamese twins joined at the head?” In retrospect, I’m not happy that I got caught up in it all because I don’t think I furthered the discussion at all.

I share this to illustrate how uncivilized our civilization has become, and how easily one can be drawn into its clutches. We live in a pluralistic and diverse society that will inevitably produce conflicting views, not just on sexuality, but on economic, environmental, bioethical and political fronts as well. How will we dialogue on these things in a way that sheds light rather than generates heat?

I will be the first to admit that the Church, whom I represent, has not always led the way when it comes to open dialogue. We’ve entered into our fair share of labeling and name-calling, and for that I am truly sorry. However, I think the street of derision runs both ways. Maybe we can finally call a truce, hold each other accountable for excesses, and talk about the issues?

Rev. Jim Govatos currently serves as Senior Pastor at Aloma United Methodist Church located in Winter Park. A former atheist, Jim is passionate about helping people understand and experience a living faith in Jesus Christ. Please share your thoughts by emailing him at jimg@ alomazone.org