Chris Jepson: The sins of thy father

Change. It occurred to me about 30 years ago that one of the biggest gifts one generation can give to the next is to let go of the craziness of thy father(s). It is a craziness that is observed and learned at a young age. It is a craziness that warps and shapes young minds, perpetuating irrational tradition, beliefs or practices.

In 1975, I was standing in the kitchen with my 61-year-old father who was choking-up while recounting his crazy behavior regarding his first child, my brother. My father had been raised by a brilliant, driven, martinet of a man. He was tough times seven. And the way Gramps raised my father was the way my father initially thought to raise his son. My father expected my brother (at age 3 or 4) to learn in an unrealistic manner, creating all sorts of tensions (and disappointments) in his early marriage.

My brother, to this day, thanks the stars above for the birth of his (our) sister. “She saved my life. Susan diverted dad’s attention,” he has observed on many occasions. Another sister and then me. There is no doubt in my mind that birth order is of incredible importance in how we “turn out” as adults, and as human beings. But that is grist for another column.

My father’s recognition and acknowledgement of how he attempted to perpetuate a questionable “family” standard is applicable to the larger context of how a society lets go of what no longer works or is of dubious value.

We’re witnessing that right now in the incredible transformation of public opinion regarding homosexual rights. Yet some, mainly older Americans, are aghast that not only is homosexuality publically discussed, but that it is now an acceptable manner of living to the point that same-sex couples are legally marrying. Oh my!

A brief few decades ago, America was ablaze over civil rights for blacks. A few decades before that, women marched for the right to vote. It wasn’t until the 1820s that all white men in America could vote. Each generation confronts change and, arguably, the pace of change is accelerating.

Change is coming fast to America, and Boomers will once again lead the way. Growing up, coming of age in the 1960s was an exhilarating experience. What Boomers deem “acceptable” becomes the norm. The numbers (votes/leadership) suggest as much.

Interesting to me is that “change” itself is acceptable. Period. Boomers came of age watching black Americans come forward and demand equality, their rightful, legitimate place in the sun. A racist America did not correspond to the mythology of our history and became increasingly unacceptable. We’ve miles to go in this regard, but clearly a corner has been turned.

We watched as our fathers required our service in an illogical, immoral Asian war and decided that we would rather march in opposition than to our deaths. Boomers need to again speak up as our military/industrial complex wags the tail of our foreign policy.

I once argued against a universal military draft but, after the past few decades of American militarism, a draft may be the necessary check we need on American aggression. If only the sons of the poor serve and die, our nation—sadly, seemingly—turns a blind eye to our illogical foreign wars.

The old perpetuate the status quo because they fear what will be lost. Rather, we embrace change and create a better America.

The old have no corner on wisdom. Experience illustrates that.

Jepson is a 27-year resident of Central Florida. He’s fiscally conservative, socially liberal, likes art and embraces diversity of opinion. Reach him at [email protected]