Louis Roney: Bittersweet

• Bitterness is something that best belongs to — well, the bitter, who are willing to settle for attitudes that produce nothing good for either the sender or the receiver. Bitterness is one of the most unattractive of all human conditions. In my 33 years of marriage to b.w., I recall not a moment of bitterness. I have, however, a female relative who traffics with me often in rudeness and bitterness the fact of which leaves me only shaking my head and finding little to say in return. When she is talking with me, I often get the feeling that, for no particular reason, she just doesn’t like me. My belief is that the fly in the ointment is that she is a “controller” and that she has never yet discovered a way to control me! I have never tried to control other people, but am still trying to control myself without noticeable success. Her coolness is a peculiar condition, as slightly more than 54 percent of the people I know seem to tolerate me quite well. This relative of mine is one of those people who automatically takes the opposing point of view of anything I say to her. If I point out what a beautiful clear day it is, she may say, “No, you’re wrong. There is a little cloud over there beyond that tree.” Although I love my relative, I would surely never want to be married to a woman like her — that would be really bitter!

• As a kid I was brought up to accept strangers to be friendly and nice unless they later gave me good reason to change my opinion. In that case I walked away and forgot them, the way one forgets an orange that’s too sour to eat. In those days, we were not taught to be wary of grown-ups we didn’t know. Today, that is neither a popular nor perhaps a safe idea.

• The family has been the building block of the human race from the beginning of recorded history. The father, mother and the child are the “trinity “ of human progress—that triangle which guarantees the future and memorializes the past. And so it is that we see with dismay, clear signs of weakening of the structure of the human family in today’s world. Today’s family can consist of a mother and father—each in different daytime jobs—a son away at college, a daughter studying in a distant city, and a third child still in a local public school. When I went to high school I either walked or rode a bike everywhere—today kids always seem to have an automobile available. On dates we used to go to a movie, and afterwards have a root beer at the drug store counter! It may be that today’s family only a few times a year sits down for dinner at the home table, and that most communication is via phone or email. Certainly the “closeness” of families of several generations ago is being challenged, even jeopardized.

• France, that once great and powerful nation, is committing suicide by opposing the word “work.” French workers “work” 35 hours a week and get no overtime. They get five weeks paid vacation per year—sometimes up to eight. They retire from their jobs at 59 or 60. Pensions must be paid longer now. With all this folderol, France still has 10 percent unemployed. You can’t sell what you don’t produce, and if you’re not working, you’re not producing. Napoleon made France a tough country to compete with. Now they’re a pushover.