The parent's guide to the college transition

The time has come, the drop-off has happened, the dorm room is unpacked, the fridge is stocked, the meal plan has been purchased, and the final hug has been given. Tonight your child (who is actually considered a mature adult), the one you’ve spent 18 years being fully responsible for, will be staying in his or her own place.

For the next 15 weeks you won’t be cooking for them, cleaning for them, you won’t know when they came home, made it to class, or if they got their homework done. The list of all the things to which you’ll no longer be privy to could go on and on. As much as this transition period is full of excitement for your child and your family, it’s also full of anxiety from the fear of the unknown.

This transition is commonly referred as “Empty Nest Syndrome.” It’s normal for parents to experience mixed emotions. The good news is that you aren’t alone with your conflicting emotions. If you were to talk to other parents who’ve already adjusted to Empty Nest Syndrome you’ll see them nodding their head “yes” in agreement with everything you feel. Nobody can guarantee that the fears you’ve created in your mind won’t become real life situations, however there are many programs to help your child navigate many of these internal fears.

Take for example the fear of your child living on his/her own. Whether your child is living in a dorm or off-campus, they aren’t alone. They might have a roommate, or a Resident Assistant, someone who is keeping the halls of the dorm safe and trained to handle roommate conflict and other first semester fears. I know this person isn’t you, but it’s someone who’s in the building, who can be available if need be.

If your child isn’t ready to live on their own, take comfort in the fact that they aren’t fully alone.

Finances. The big B-word… Budgeting! Most colleges offer an optional workshop that students can attend for free that cover this topic. I also recommend that you workout a budget with your child that fits within your means. Affording college is one of the biggest stresses, it’s important to address this topic as a family and never sweep it under the rug. Never hesitate to look into the university’s work-study program. Not only does a part-time job help with finances, it also teaches kids about responsibility. Work-study positions work around class schedules and offer downtime, aka study-time.

The pressure of ensuring your child has picked the correct major is also a common fear. Many students don’t know what major to pick upon entering college. More and more students enter college as “undecided.” If this is something that your child is struggling with, guide them toward the campus department that helps with this exact issue. For example, at the University of Central Florida it’s the First Year & Advising Exploration Department.

With all the extra curricular activities your child will be engaged in, it’s normal to worry about their grades. Especially because you’ll have little knowledge of how they’re progressing academically. I understand this can be scary. I’ve spent countless hours on the phone talking with parents about their children’s grades. I would recommend that you check-in with your child from time to time about their studies. Find out when they’ll be having a test and ask them how they plan on studying. Do they seem nervous about any course material or perhaps anxious over not having many assignments to help cushion a low-test score? If so, guide them to their teacher’s office hours, or to the First Year Advising Office. Pay attention to the small things they tell you in those conversations and be prepared to be their support system.

You have to find a balance when talking with your child about their study habits. You can’t ask them everyday how their classes are going, that will cause them to shutdown and not tell you anything. Grades are important, trusting that your child is maintaining their studies is also important. Remember, college isn’t just about the grades and picking the right major. Part of college is about students gaining real-life experience outside of the wings of their parents, but still within the safety of a system that has worked for millions of other college graduates.

When you get home, sit back and enjoy the fact that you have raised a child that feels confident to go and explore. I’m not promising you they won’t make mistakes, and that your fears might not be far-fetched. I am telling you that the school your child is attending is prepared to support your child, you just need to make sure you’re aware of the resources offered.

Katie Ross has been working in higher education since 2007. She has had the opportunity to be a Senior Student Advisor, Orientation Manager, and most recently an Associate Course Director at Full Sail University. When she isn’t holding a lecture, you can find her in a hot yoga class at Full Circle Yoga, or dining with her husband and friends on Park Avenue. Katie works hard to blend her teaching and advising experience together to better her students’ college experience.

Connect with Katie:

Website: katiemross.com

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @RossEduKate