Chris Jepson: It's Judgement Day

Consider what we humans most have in common. Aside from the bodily functions of breathing, eating, sleeping, sex, etc., what would you identify as our most important quality as human beings? Important not only from the perspective of survival, but when making daily quality-of-life decisions as well (like thread counts for your new sheets). Yet, ironically, it is a value that is almost universally deplored.

We are told all our lives not to be judgmental. This is ludicrous. From the moment of our birth, perhaps in utero, we make instantaneous judgments as to whether we are suitably fed, whether our environment is warm and secure, whether we are appropriately stimulated, loved and valued. The judging of our existence goes to core of who we are as individuals and our place within the greater collective known as humanity.

Here are several aphorisms on judging. Keep calm and don’t be judgmental. Who are you to judge the life I live? The Dalai Lama determined, “Love is the absence of judgment.” Walt Whitman cautioned, “Be curious, not judgmental.” The most famous judgment quote in the West comes from the Bible. All our lives we are instructed to, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” I acknowledge that there is a context in all of the above quotes.

Yet, within all of the quotes is the implied warning that judgment is suspect. Why is that?

From the moment I arise, I make judgments. On how I feel. On what I want to accomplish that day. On whether or not to take “that” phone call. On what to eat. I make a judgment on which bathrobe to put on. On which editorials to read in the Times. On whether Trump — that day — is actually dangerous or merely the obnoxious buffoon. On the infantile, short-sighted peckishness of Sanders supporters in not supporting a Clinton candidacy. On whether it’s a good day or bad day depending on the amount of cloud cover. On the fashions of the women at the adjoining table during lunch. On and on and on. On whether it matters if the toilet paper “rolls” one way or the other (it doesn’t matter). You get the picture and I venture you’re similar.

It’s not whether you judge — complete candor requires your acknowledging it’s a universal human quality — it’s on what basis you judge and what you do with your judgments.

Everything is up for judgment including why we act the way we do (as individuals as well as cooperatively—or not—as a species). We should judge any and all sacred texts (secular and religious) that inform how we live. We would be well advised to teach our children from day one that judgments are what humans do and there are methods to making better decisions.

I’ve heard in my life, “Sometimes I wish people could listen without judging.” Good luck with that. Rather, I recommend, “Sometimes I wish people would simply listen with compassion.”

I acknowledge Toba Beta’s distinction that, “A judgmental heart keeps listening to the things that annoy.” That is one of the morals of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”

To be judgmental is human. I embrace Traci Lea LaRussa’s perspective, “Judge tenderly, if you must. [I must.] There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.” Indeed.