Louis Roney: Decisions, decisions

“I never met a man I didn’t like,” said Will Rogers. As a kid I loved Will Rogers but I never believed him when he said that. Of course, Rogers may possibly have meant that he hadn’t wasted enough time or energy with people he didn’t like to warrant further evaluation.

Why do we like some people very much and others hardly at all? Why do some people like us immensely while others couldn’t care less?

The many people whom we like very much are people we probably respect and admire for their own lives, including their character, behavior, and accomplishments.

The few people who turn us off, may seem to be lacking in manners, character, and amiable behavior. If a person seems unattractive to us, we should never try to improve him, but simply avoid him. Out of sight, out of mind…

We are constantly making decisions about liking and not liking all kinds of things — from coffee to cars — from movies to neckties. Making decisions is a thing we hope our education and experience will improve for us.

In a single day, a woman may make a decision to marry a particular suitor — a big decision — and then later go to the beauty parlor for the services of the beautician she long ago chose from the rest. She rides to the beauty shop in the car she chose last year — the make, color, model, etc.

At the beauty shop, it seems to me as a man, that the beauty operator all too often may seem to decide exactly how the woman is to look, and the woman herself really has very little to do with how her coiffure may turn out. The operator says, “Now you look just beautiful,” and that is that! I believe that women change hairdressers more because of what husbands may hint at, than what the woman herself thinks of how she looks.

People arrive at decisions in various obtuse ways, and we often don’t remember what made us do a certain thing — it may be that the odds just pile up in favor of doing — or not doing anything in particular.

If you are married, try to remember exactly what it was that made you decide “yes” this is the person for me to marry. If you are the average man, the woman’s appearance may have played a big part in the decision.

If you are a woman, a man’s manners, brain power and/or his checkbook may have influenced you and pushed you over the edge. Many wealthy men are correctly suspicious of women who take to them too quickly and such men proceed slowly toward any kind of meaningful connection — such as a wedding ring.

I remember a “blind date” I had in college with a Wellesley co-ed. The girl was very attractive and smart – but she smoked a cigarette every minute she was in the car or anywhere else smoking was permitted. At the end of the evening, I took her back to her dorm and said a polite “adieu!” I never called her again, but two weeks later she called me and surprised me by saying, “I thought we had a very nice evening together and yet you never called me again – why not?” I told her quietly that I was a non-smoker who was planning to make a career as an opera singer and that her smoking had eliminated any future for us together. She then said, “Are you telling me I must quit smoking?” I said to her, “No, not at all! I am only telling you I do not date women who smoke cigarettes.” She said something like, “Well, I never!” as she slammed down the phone.

It seems to me that everyone gains when strongly held beliefs are “outed” at the beginning of a relationship. An inevitable dead end is best discovered at the start. As with anything else, honesty is the best — the only — policy...