Bullying: Be a part of the solution

If a child you care about is currently school aged, chances are good that he or she has somehow been involved in bullying, either in person, online or both. Research suggests that while only 30 percent of students have been directly involved in bullying (as the perpetrator or target), at least 90 percent have played an indirect, but extremely important, role: the bystander.

Bystanders are those who witness a bullying event. These key players have the power to make a difference by reporting the behavior or supporting students who are being bullied. Unfortunately, more often than not, they don’t. Some are afraid to take action, and others are simply unsure about what they can do to help.

So how do you know what role, if any, your child has played in bullying? And how can you best guide your child in preventing and responding to acts of bullying? Follow these few simple tips.

• Discuss the definition of bullying with your child and how it is different from a conflict; bullying is defined as repeated, hurtful, and intentional behaviors that involve an imbalance of power (such as age, size or social status).

• Teach your child that bullying can take many forms, such as rumor spreading, gossip, social exclusion, threats and physical violence. Children might not always identify these behaviors as bullying (sometimes call it “drama”) or understand the serious impact they can have on others. Discuss these actions with your child, and help them develop empathy for those who might be on the receiving end of these behaviors.

• Using examples, help your child think about how they can stand up for what is right when they witness any type of bullying behavior. While it may not always be safe or advisable to intervene directly, they can always help by reporting the situation to a trusted adult (anonymously if needed), and by being a friend to students being bullied.

• Know that cyberbullying (bullying online or via text messages) can sometimes be more harmful than traditional bullying, and that it can take place right in front of you without your knowledge.

• Discuss cyberbullying with your child, set clear guidelines about appropriate use of technology, and monitor your child’s use. For more specific tips to prevent cyberbullying, visit NetSmartz.org.

• Children are often reluctant to report bullying for fear of getting in trouble, or for fear that reporting will make the situation worse. Keep the lines of communication open and create a safe and supportive environment by not overreacting, and by spending lots of time listening.

• Teach your child the difference between tattling/snitching and reporting. Snitching is what you do when you want to get someone into trouble, and reporting is what you do when you want to stop something bad from happening.

• If you suspect a potential bullying situation at your child’s school, be sure to communicate your concerns to the appropriate school personnel so that the situation can be investigated.

For more tips and information regarding bullying prevention and intervention, visit StopBullying.gov